I am unable to publicly disclose my story.
But I am always able to listen to anyone suffering in silence. Message me.
I have learnt it is far better to live and be alone than to be surrounded by wickedness. Stay peaceful and self care.
I am only able to share my feelings in this ‘poem’ of mine that illustrates the picture of my life and therefore if anyone resonates and needs to talk to me then message me.
Regardless of how often I feel pain, I have learnt that to ‘HOLD’ someone’s emotional space is helpful, often paramount. If you don't know what it means to hold someones emotional space, google it.... it's very helpful.
I trained as a mindfulness coach but was never trained in dealing with covert narcissism, gaslighting or manipulation. I have only learnt about it from experiencing it and being on the receiving end of it for many years. Only the strongest people will survive. I am one.
I’m a natural kind human being and therefore I attach 'NO' price to hold your hand if you are suffering.
Events have knocked me down yet again but even now from down here on my emotional floor I can still help others as I have ears to listen.
Love ❤️ Kindess ❤️ Hope ❤️ Loyalty ❤️ Integrity ❤️Trust
Read on ...
´Here is a message to people who should be beautiful souls. Beautiful souls who have learnt the art of 'manipulation' and 'cruel words' you will know who you are should you be reading this and I suggest you don't laugh or snigger as its people like you that make the weak take their own lives.
It is with 'hope' that anyone who is connected to people wearing 'external (I can do no wrong) masks' to others remembers this message...
YOU (the scapegoat) are not mad, over sensitive, not mental, not crazy, nor do you haave a poor memory, you're not dramatic, you're not an arsehol, you're not bi-polar ,
YOU ARE a victim of gas lighters and manipulators. Stand strong. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all, in fact you are one of life's blessings.
‘Hopeful’
In my time on this planet, I have known great sorrow, plunged into the depths of oceanic despair, been thrown so deeply into loneliness that I thought I would never return.
I have tasted the ecstatic joys of human connection, the fierce intimacy of love, the loyalty and disloyalty of friends and family and even now I feel the savage, raw pain of endless heartbreak.
I have experienced the excitement of unexpected happiness and then the blows of sudden sadness which came without warning.
There were times (and still are) when I thought I'd never make it, times when my dreams had been shattered so deeply that I couldn't imagine how life as I knew it could ever go on.
Yet it went on, and sometimes I found humility within the devastation, and out of the devastation I’ve been blessed. I have found beautiful friends, not many, but 'souls' that connect with mine. These 'souls' have and do give me hope.
I have come to trust ‘nobody’ only life itself. There is no plan, only life, and even in times of great uncertainty we sometimes have to fall so low so that the only option is to get back up. Not everyone who manages to get back up each time is ever the same again. I’m not.
Somehow though, I try to be hopeful, in a way I cannot explain.
I am crushed yet again and experiencing further seemingly insurmountable challenges and heartbreaks.
The pain of being misunderstood and judged by the people who you wished loved you the most is the most excruciating pain of all.
It appears this 'pain' will never end as the hurt and abuse is cyclical, like seasons. Abuse is repetitive and dangerous. What happened to kindness?
Somehow I am still hopeful that 'love' is the answer.
